What year is it?

Good evening my friends. My sincerest apologies for not writing in a few months. I had to be a responsible adult for a while and do grown up things like go to work and study for my CPA exam and stuff. It has been stoopid. In all honesty, I ended up putting several things in my life aside to focus on my new job as well as becoming a CPA. Since I spoke with you last I had taken the first section of the CPA exam. I passed my first section, took a second section last Monday, and will take section #3 on April 1st. Like I mentioned before, it is the work of satan and you will hear me bitch about it until the bitter end. I'm rocking my new job and am confident that I could not have made a better choice in taking this new position. I would tell you more about it, but it's accounting and let's be honest, nobody cares. Okay, enough of that exciting stuff.

Ehem...okay, if you are still reading this post after the massive dorkfest above, I'll talk about what every blogger wants to talk about...me trying to get rid of my jiggly fat ass. I have not lost weight in a while. I have continued to work out, but not as much as I was, and my diet has (until recently) been craptastic. I fell off the wagon there for a while, and when I started losing some of the confidence I had built up throughout my weight loss I decided to do something about it. I signed up for my first 5k on April 6. My hubby signed up for this one too so we'll be doing it together. Other than that I am still going to boot camp and am picking up momentum in bettering myself one day at a time.

And just to cover all my bases and get on every blogger's good side, one of you crafty bitches needs to craft me this pillow for my bed. I mean, I'm married so everyone knows we do it...just don't tell my mom.

I will be continuing my business spice segment in the near future since I know you all have been waiting in suspense for three months to hear part 2. Once again, my sincerest apologies.

I (of course) am hooked up on instagram (hoodlette), and have started following a few of my favorite bloggers on keek. My name is hoodlette on there as well. I haven't actually done a keek yet, but I may decide to drink that koolaid as well.

I know you have all missed me dearly, but you can start carrying on with a somewhat normal existence now that you know you will get to read my blog posts again.

Stay classy my friends.

How to Become Business Spice - Part I

Good afternoon ladies and gents!  My sincerest apologies for not writing in a while.  There have been alot of happenings going on in my life lately.  I start a new position at a new company tomorrow, I have taken the first section of the CPA exam and have started studying for the second, I am in the beginning stages of starting up my own Accounting & Consulting business, and all while trying to rule the world.

This post is not going to be about weight loss, babies, or crafts. (Don't hate me) It's going to be about being a woman and living in the business world.  Hold tight, ladies.  I'm going to teach you how to become Business Spice.  It will be in a few parts, so here goes.

To start, I'll give you a little background on where I came from and how I've gotten where I am today.  I went to The University of Texas at Tyler straight out of high school.  I had no idea what my major would be, so I started as undecided.  Try really, truly feeling a sense of purpose going to school every day without a major.  You can't. It sucked. I had to take a "Freshmen Prep" class and I chose The History of Magic and Witchcraft.  Awesome.  I was really getting far with this.  Needless to say, I felt like I was wondering around with a blindfold on.  Not a cool time for me.  

I finally decided that I would take a go at criminal justice and see what that major had to offer.  I was going to be in the FBI and rule the world, Pinky.  I went and talked with a former FBI agent and after listening to him tell me that I would miss essentially every part of my future family's lives I quickly determined that this was not the path for me.  I was lost once again. 

I went and took a test in the counseling office that would suggest possible majors that would fit my skill set and personality. My top match was a teacher.  Just thinking of that makes me break out in a cold sweat.  I love kids, don't get me wrong.  I just wouldn't have the patience to deal with other peoples children all day and be able to keep from giving them a good spankin' when I thought they deserved it (I'm from Texas, remember?  We get spankin's.  It's part of life around here...along with riding horses and chewing on weeds.)  I knew I just simply did not have the patience.  So, I did what every undecided major does.  I became a management major.  I knew at this point that I would not graduate a management major, but I wanted to enter into the business school.  I was on my merry way.  I started talking all the business classes and stumbled upon my first accounting class.  The professor was a total douche canoe and we just did not see eye to eye.  I failed.  For the first time in my life, I failed.  I was angry, upset, and knew that this just wouldn't work.  I guess you could say that I had met my match.

I signed up to retake my accounting class the next summer.  I was determined to get out of there with an A.  I was smart, competent, and was not going to fail.  I had a new teacher and a new determination to pass this class.  After the first several classes the professor pulled me aside and asked my why is wasn't an accounting major.  My mind was made. The first night of class the teacher assigned a group project where we had to get into groups of two and work together on a semester long project.  As she was saying this I literally started feeling sick at my stomach.  I was extremely shy and the thought of having to find a partner made me extremely nervous.  I felt someone tap me on my shoulder.  I turned around and there was this guy that asked if I wanted to work with him.  He introduced himself as Justin Hood.  Fast-forward about three years...he is now my husband.  Thank you douche canoe professor for failing me.  You made the rest of my life. 

I moved on from there and graduated with my Bachelor's Degree in Accounting in December of 2009.  I learned alot about myself during those three and a half years, and little did I know I had staged the rest of my life with the work I had done during college.  

That's all for now.  I'll next talk about my trials and tribulations stepping out into the business world, and then how I officially became Mrs. Business Spice. 

 Until next time, just wear a little Gucci dress (Don't judge.  It's not nice)

Monday is here

On all of my favorite blogs and on facebook everyone posts pictures of happenings from the weekend.  All the exciting parties and fun time they had.  Well, at any give point this weekend, you could have snapped a picture of me studying for the CPA exam.  For those of you that don't know, the CPA exam was written by satan.  He decided to make it into four parts so that even if you do pass one, you still have three more parts to go.  A scene from Little Nicky with Hitler comes to mind...

So, no exciting pictures for you today about what I did this weekend.  I studied.  You would think that I would have had enough of this in college, but I just can't seem to get enough.  It's not fun, but it's what I have to do.  

I have been putting alot of thought into my everyday diet lately.  I will not do a fad diet, and I will never say that I will never have another type of food again.  To tell myself that I am done eating chocolate and will never drink another diet coke again is laughable.  I promise I would be one mean heffer if that was the case.  <--If you don't get it (you are obviously not from the south) google it.  Urban Dictionary will fill you in.  I don't want to give those things up.  I am learning to adjust how much and how often I have those things, and it's working for me. I recently went to a seminar held by my local boot camp and it was great.  In the morning and after you work out, your diet should consist of "protein" foods and "carb" foods.  Any other time, it should consist of "protein" food and "fat" foods.  The idea is to maximize weight loss by eating different foods at different times of the day.  It may sound complicated, but it's actually really simple.  

I used to be a huge drama queen when it came to dieting.  I would "diet" so hard that I mostly ate foods that I didn't really like, and that was miserable.  I never really considered the math of it all.  To lose weight, you need to eat less calories than you burn in one day.  Not hard.  I started using My Fitness Pal and dropped to a 1200 calorie diet.  I don't always eat perfectly, but this is a great tool to help me plan ahead and see what I'll be eating during the day.  

Here lately my good diet, Jillian, and boot camp have been working well together.  If anyone is in the Longview area and wants to check out this boot camp that I rave about, go here.  It's the best.thing.EVER.

Also, I am a now sponsor of Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.  They are hilarious.  Their blog posts are like crack.  You hit the refresh button until another one comes up and then you'll be like:

She has written again!

(I'm just saying they're cool, okay)  Go read it.  I said so.

Until next time, you stay classy San Diego!

Let's Just Put This Out There, Shall We?

I've been in a philosophical "what does it all mean" mood lately, so I'm just going to get some things off my chest.

Months ago when I started this journey, what was it that I was looking for? Did I want to be a supermodel? Did I want to be thought of as "desirable"?  Did I want to have a ba-donk-a-donk like Kim Kardashian?  Some answers are no, some are yes, and some are ehh, still up in the air.

To start, I think that keeping a focused view of what you want is the only way to stay on track, and what I want has definitely shifted since I've gone down this path.  There's a fork in the road and I'm fighting for the the road less traveled.  This is such and emotional fight for me...why?  Let's discuss:

I started this journey because of how I felt about myself and how it affected my life, as well as my husband's.  I remember once we went to the mall so I could buy some new clothes for work.  I couldn't find anything stylish that fit me.  Twenty three years old and I couldn't find clothes that would fit over my hips or that weren't too tight on my stomach.  I started crying and couldn't stop.  I was so embarrassed that my husband was there, seeing me trying to stuff myself into these clothes.  At the time all I could think was that he deserved so much better than that.  These things started to happen alot, and I started to feel a deep hatred and anger towards myself.  That's so different now.

I wanted to feel like a sexy, vibrant, confident woman and there was just no way for me to do that at what I weighed.  I knew the number on the scale.  It was heartbreaking.  I was so sensitive to anything to do with my weight.  I have had these insecurities my whole life due to several things, and over time it felt normal for me to hate myself.  Crazy, right?

Well, to say my husband is hard-headed is an understatement.  When we started dating I was amazed at his will to accomplish whatever it was that he set out to do no matter what it took.  He has what we rednecks from Texas like to call "grit".  I admired how strong and determined he was, and started following his lead.  It was a whole new mindset to me.  For the first time in my life I was able to say, "I don't like my weight. I'm going to change it."  Easy, right.  Not so much.  My weight had become just "who I was."  I was going to always be the fat chick.  I wasn't going to be sexy or have the confidence that I wanted.  Now I have my grit, and I owe that part of myself to my husband.

Before I got my grit.  My hubby showing his off.

When I was jumbo-size all I wanted was to be skinny.  I thought that if I could just lose the weight that I would be happy.  Well, to a degree, that's true.  But what I didn't realize was as my body would change, so would my entire outlook and attitude on life.  All of the sudden I was able to better communicate with people.  I wasn't afraid to actually talk to someone new.  That used to make me nervous to the point of nausea when I had to talk to someone for the first time.  I had zero confidence, and if affected my whole life. I had no idea that these things would come from the change that I made in my life.

I've also learned that to make others happy around you, you have to be happy with yourself.  I feel so much more freedom in my life.  I joke around with my husband more, and I am so much less modest around him.  I am much more open with the people in my life, and I'm not afraid to let them get to know me.  I mean, seriously, I'm pretty freakin' awesome.  

After all this, what is it that I want?  

Do I still want to look like a supermodel?
Not especially.  I want to look healthy and in shape, but I still want to live a sustainable life that I can enjoy.

Do I still want to feel vibrant and sexy?
Of course, but that doesn't only include physical perfection.  There is so much more to it that I am just now discovering on my own.

Most importantly, do I want to have Kim's bootay?

Um, yes please! I'd be putting that thang in everybody's face.  I'd get famous for it and soon be the most googled person on earth because of my giant arse.  

Also, before you all go gushing over my amazing, perfect, gritty husband, know this...he dances like Kevin James in Hitch..just sayin'

So talk to me here.  

What is it that you want to see change?

What's different for you now that you have lost some weight?

Like, I want to know you, but not in a steal your underwear type way.  Weirdos.

Talk to me.

The Jillian Challenge...

Ok, so I've gone crazy and decided to become a shred head and do the Jillian Michaels 30 Day Challenge with all my fellow hoochie mama's over at the Mama Laughlin Fit Camp. You can meet up with these beautiful ladies here.  It's women from all over motivating each other, bitching and moaning together, taking advice from each other, and making friends that understand what the other one is going through.  It's awesome and I love it.

So the challenge (and I quote): 

31 Days of Being Jillian Michael's Biotch

From October 1 - October 31 thousands of women are going to become Jillian Michaels' submissives and allow this scary lady person to whip their @sses into shape.  It sounds scary, I know, but the fun part is that everyone is putting a fun happy halloween sticker on their calendar for every day they complete the shred, all kindergarten style and everything.  It's amazing how stickers still motivate even when you're a grown up.  I want that damn sticker so bad I'll do anything!

In all seriousness, all of these women are taking before and after pictures and committing themselves to this challenge.  The ML Fit Camp page will be blowing up next month with women talking to each other and encouraging each other through this, and it's going to be amazing.  I'll be right there with them, posting before and after pictures, whining about what a hooker Jillian is, and cheering everyone on just like I know they'll do for me.  

I can honestly say that I'm a Jillian virgin so this should be interesting. 

Stay tuned for before and after pics!

I can't wait to be her biotch!

A Thing or Two About Me...

I know that it has been long awaited, and that everyone has put their lives on hold so that they can read all about me!  I know that you have to go to work and shower and clean your babies and stuff, but all that can wait.  I'm kind of a big deal.

Seriously, though, I'm one of those people who feel like I can relate better to someone if I know a little more about them.  I mean, it doesn't really matter that I'm a prostitute and that my husband pushes X on the streets as long as you find motivation in my "weight loss" story, right?  Hell naw!  I'm one of those people that likes to know stuff...like stalker status and girl crushes and the whole 9 yards.  Like my blog says, it's the voices...

Without further adieu, here's a thing or two about me:

• I'm from Texas and wouldn't have it any other way
• I have recently lost 20 lbs and want to lose 30 more
• I am an accountant and my hubby is an engineer.  I met him in an accounting class in college and he used to copy my homework and cheat off of my tests...it set a precedent for the rest of our lives. He's a man child.
• We don't have any children yet, but mama's got the fever
• I budget our money like an OCD, and have seriously considered becoming the next Dave Ramsey and getting rich and famous for stating the obvious to the world
• My husband looks like Tom Brady, for real.  Their heads are shaped the same and everything. (I get told that I look like Gisele all the time but I don't want to make all of you hookers jealous)

That's right ladies, he's all mine

• I am a certified SCUBA diver..holla!

• I took an international finance class in London one summer and I couldn't tell you anything about international finance.  I had a lot of fun on that trip...I mean, it's amazing I'm still alive.  I'm glad I didn't see that  movie Taken before I went.  It might have put a damper on things.

• I Heart Diet Coke.  I'll fight you over it.
• I love being outside.  I'll pick that over watching TV any day

• I'm about to start my 11th month of boot camp. It has completely changed my life.
• I have come to the conclusion that the CPA exam is the work of the devil and that I must sell my soul to become a CPA.  I have a meeting with him to sign it over at the end of October.  It is a 4 part percentage of completion contract valued at fair market value under the rules of GAAP, that is until everything converts to international standards.  I'm sorry..I left myself there for a second.  I think my head just turned completely around...huh

• I'm extremely shy in real life
• I got married on September 17, 2011.  It was the best day of my life, however, I was at my heaviest weight and that makes me sad looking back.

• We bought our first home earlier this year and I absolutely love it!

• I'm slowly learning that looking back is not a good idea.  Strength comes from living and learning, so I have no regrets

These are just a few random things about me that popped into my head.

Happy Monday, y'all!

The Road Less Traveled

I saw this on another blog this afternoon and it really got me thinking.  It's all about hard work and not making excuses.  Most people you talk to aren't happy with their bodies for one reason or another, so why don't they change?  Because it's HARD.  For me it's about losing weight.  To make this happen I have to fight every single day against cravings.  I have to force myself to get up and go workout.  I have to make myself conscious of every decision and every plan that comes to me.  I have to plan ahead and think about what I want and where I'm headed with every decision I make.  I have to make it happen.  It can be stressful.  It.is.HARD.  More than anything, though, it is rewarding.  It's not only rewarding to see my body change, but it's rewarding to know that I have conquered these demons that have haunted me for most of my life.  

I used to be that person making that excuse.  I used to be the one rationalizing why it would be okay for me to eat that Big Mac meal with extra large french fries for dinner, after I had already had Taco Bell for lunch. It took alot of hard work rationalizing and making excuses for me to get in the shape that I was in.  

I finally hit bottom, and decided to take the road less traveled.  It's a perfect description.  Sometimes you will have to pave the way yourself.  Sometimes you will get lost and have to find your way back on track.  But you will also learn things about yourself and see things that not everyone gets to see.  You will know what it takes to make things happen for yourself and that will start showing up in every aspect of your life.  It will soon become your life.  

The road less traveled is a beautiful place.  I think after all these years I have finally started to see that.